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Pre ashram mood: fuck Rishikesh

Only a minute

Just me being a brat

Today I feel like an absolute garbage bag.

Today I feel depressed and and hella mad in one of the most spiritual places in the whole world. The Holy Ganga river is flowing next to me and I'm cursing the wind. Knowing I'm being an absolute brat.

Nope! Sorry! Not today! I don't feel like smiling at people and greeting them with a "namasté". Not feeling the om nama shivaya shit. I feel like walking through the streets and raging on Indian men that want to talk to me and follow me down the road asking me for a selfie.

I went to the Dalai Lama lecture yesterday and didn't feel shit. I saw his Holiness and fell asleep at his feet – does that make me less spiritual? The fact that I didn't feel his amazing energy, or his "cleansing effect" as some of my friends from Dharamkot say?

Ah. I'm two days away from walking into an ashram and all I want to do is write, and be by myself. Not in a beautiful introspective way, nope. I feel it in a fuck everyone way. Too much of anything sucks, today I feel like I've had too much India. Wild, beautiful difficult India.

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