After sharing goodbye tears with someone I ended up absolutely and unexpectedly adoring, I jumped on a train to Jaipur, Rajasthan.
As the landscape slowly transitioned into desert, I kept thinking about the last conversation I had with him.
It has always been my deepest dream to travel alone. Every time I pack my bags and leave with the hopes of pursuing that dream, I've found something that makes me turn back. (that something is commonly known as love).
The hero's journey
Before the novela continues, some background on The Hero's Journey.
In short, it is an universal pattern present amongst all of the stories ever told by humankind, and it explains that myth, rather than a story, is an extension of humanity through the use of metaphors.
First four stages: leaving the ordinary world. The call to adventure, refusal of the call, meeting the mentor, and crossing the threshold. For the first time in my life, I broke a pattern and crossed the threshold.
/ the refusal of the call
The bus ride to Jaipur was so trippy. High on nostalgia and masala chai, laying in this sleeper cabin bouncing in between the sleep world and this realm, trying to figure out which one was actually real. I couldn't stop thinking about The Hero's Journey – about how many people are stuck in this call for adventure - refusal of the call cycle. I mean, fuck. I've been refusing this call for years.
/ meeting the mentor
And the next stage of the journey, when the student is ready the master appears type shit. So literal.
I wonder how often it happens that this /beautiful/ mentor you meet can also become the very same threshold that makes you doubt for a split second if you should turn back, and refuse the call?
/ crossing the threshold
And this is why I kept tripping on the bus. Because this time I decided to be the hero of my own journey.
For the first time, I chose to pursue love for myself, and not the one I feel for someone else.
And this "crossing of the threshold" is the hardest step as it will test your commitment to the Journey. Once you've accepted the "call for adventure," life will throw the biggest obstacles at you for no reason other than for you to prove that this is your choice, this is what you wanted and have been asking for.
This is another common point to say "fuck it" and go back to the ordinary world (confort zone) not seeing that these obstacles are standing by the gateway to your desires for a reason – they are guarding exactly that: your deepest desire.
And no matter how hard these obstacles are, the hero (you!) must walk through the flames of their own desire to continue the Journey.
And that was the last conversation I had with him. I will see him again and again, but right now, I'm walking through those gates by my (S)elf.
- Joseph Campbell
Thank you for reading my melodramatic diary lol. I'm writing a (way less emotional) Jaipur travelogue. India is absolutely fascinating. Psychedelic, kaleidoscopic – nothing like I've ever seen before. Feeling energized and very moved by all the movement in these ancient lands.
Thank you for reading me!